Every first day of the month, I send you a letter focused on helping you become the best you. You can subscribe here so you do not miss any letters:
Last month, I had asked you what you had in your hand and had told you to focus on that in getting started on your goals.
Then, someone responded: “What if what I have got in my hand is fear, doubts, insecurity, uncertainty about my goals. What do I do then?”
My answer? – Start!
Start with the fear. Start with the doubts. Start with the insecurities. Start with the uncertainties. Start scared. Start nervous. Start broke. Start trembling. Start on your knees. Start on crutches. Start in a wheelchair. But start.
If there is one thing the pandemic has reminded us of, it is that life is, indeed, fleeting. You really do not want to come to the end of your life wondering what would have happened if you had only had more courage. You do not want your dying thought to be “I wish I had”.
So, yes, this letter is for YOU, particularly, who till now still has not started on that goal because of your fears, doubts, insecurities, and uncertainties. Do not let them hold you back.
You do not have the time to let your fears incarcerate you.
It is okay to suck at the beginning.
Oluyomi Ojo, CEO of Printivo, tweeted this yesterday:
And if it is mistakes or starting wrongly you fear, hence tarrying, you need to know that there will be mistakes on your journey regardless. You need to know that it is also okay to make mistakes.
Abolore Salami, Founder & CEO of Riby, a Nigerian fintech company, on his interview with Origins Africa Podcast said:
You would make mistakes. I think you need to learn that you would make mistakes. You need to know that you would not get it right. Be comfortable with it.
(Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube)
So, Start!
Starting, and then adjusting, is better than standing still. In fact, the sooner you start, the sooner you can make that adjustment.
Before starting this newsletter,
I had my fears and doubts. Can I write? Who sent me to write? Aren’t there many writers and newsletters already? What do I have to say? Can I continue this thing, even if I start? What if I’m saying the wrong things? What if what I write doesn’t make sense? The last two questions were particularly important to me because being a perfectionist, I often would rather not start than start wrongly.
But despite my fears and doubts, I had to bring myself to focus on what I had in my hand, do the research necessary, and start writing, one sentence at a time, one day at a time. I continued writing even in those moments when what I was writing did not make sense to me yet. I kept at it and sent out my first letter last month, still with the fears and doubts. To aid my consistency and not feel overwhelmed, I decided on sending out the letter monthly, not weekly, or daily. And now, you are reading the second newsletter.
(We will talk about creating systems to aid the achievement of your goals in the next few months. But you would need to have started first 😊).
One thing I am finding on this journey called life is that it is okay to have the fears and doubts. They are a reminder that you are human. All our heroes, icons, leaders, celebrities had fears and doubts and still face them today. For courage is not the absence of fear, but the conquest of it. So, you are not alone.
See excerpts from a few interviews on Origins Africa Podcast:
Ore Runsewe (Founder & CEO, Arami Essentials):
Sometimes, all you need do is sign up or show up or say yes. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You often don’t, in fact; it becomes clearer as you start. So enough waiting, enough procrastinating, enough doubts and fears. Show up for yourself today!
(Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube)
Tosin Durotoye (Founder, The Bloom Africa and CEO, Conselia Advisory):
Fear happens, it doesn’t go away. You just have to talk over it, do over it; your actions must be the opposite of what you’re feeling.
… I fight it every day. I have to push through the fear. I have to tell myself every day: “Do it anyway, and yes, I know you’re scared.” I talk to myself; I affirm things with myself.
It’s okay to be fearful, but it’s not okay to let it control your destiny. It’s okay to feel insecure about some things, and to not know, but it’s also okay to set a plan, set a goal, and to try your best. You owe it to yourself to always try. And I assure you that when you try, you’ll find that the universe will somehow conspire with you.
(Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube)
I did not let my fears, doubts, and uncertainties hold me down. Neither did all of today’s achievers. We told fear “Not Today”, and we started. In spite of our fears.
Do I still have those fears and doubts?
Yes, albeit reduced. Because it really is never a once-and-for-all conquering; it is a daily struggle, a daily fight.
So, today, what do I do when the fears and doubts surface? I say “Not today”, even though sometimes difficult.
Interestingly, just a few weeks back, one of the newsletters I am subscribed to had come in, and I had been very impressed with the quality and depth of writing. Then I thought to myself: “It is stuff like this I am supposed to be writing. If I can’t write as good as this, why am I doing this newsletter?” But I had to remember to be kind to myself and to trust the journey. I was being unfair to myself with the comparison. For instance, they had written over 300 letters; I am on my second. And that gave me perspective because I understand that with consistency comes growth and depth. It is a journey, and I am still on my first. Or now, second.
So, could your fear/doubts be that you are comparing what you want to do with where somebody else is and you think that if you are not as good as they are, you should not start? That would be unfair and a disservice to yourself.
As a senior friend and colleague oft says in Yoruba, “Ma fì ago aláago ṣiṣẹ́”, loosely translated to “Don't carry out your duties using someone else's time piece” (Don’t compare yourself with anyone). We all have our times and seasons and need to be patient with ourselves wherever we are on our journey and trust the process.
Do not give up on yourself too easily and too soon because of comparison. Do not despise the early days or little beginnings. So, snap out of it with that understanding and start!
By the way,
My fears and doubts are reduced now because starting often relieves anxiety. As James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, tweeted:
So, could it be that whereas you are waiting for your fears and doubts to be relieved before starting, starting is actually the solution?
Do remember that fear is not a once-and-for-all conquering. No. It is a daily fight, a daily struggle, a daily conquest. As you wake up every morning, you tell fear “Not Today”. You may give in sometimes, that is fine. But the next morning, you wake up to fight again and tell fear “Not today”.
Now that you know that everyone has fears and that dream achievers started in spite of their fears, what are you going to do about your goals? This is March, the third month of the year and last month of the first quarter (no pressure 😊). Will you start or will your fears and doubts still hold you down? It is your call, your choice.
But I do hope that when you wake up in the morning, you tell fear “Not Today” and start.
Love and Light,
O’Seye
P.S. If you found this helpful, please, like and/or leave a comment, and share to help someone else 😊
This was really helpful.
Thank you O'Seye!
Great write up! Well done Seye!