My Dear Friend, Adefemi, & The Secret of Happiness
A shepherd may like to travel, but he should never forget about his sheep...
Every first day of the month, I send you a letter focused on helping you become the best you. You can subscribe here so you do not miss any letters:
Today, I would like to introduce you to a dear friend of mine, Adefemi:
Adefemi desired to live a very happy life. He desired it so much that he became very interested in learning about the Secret of Happiness (Yeah, I have friends like that, hehe). So, he began to study and ask questions. On one of those days, he decided to travel to see the then wisest man in Nigeria (I will withhold his name for now, but stay with me 😊).
After about one week of travelling across states from Lagos, Adefemi finally came upon a beautiful mansion, somewhere in the Southern part of Nigeria. It was there this wise man lived. Upon entering the mansion, Adefemi saw a hive of activity: traders coming and going, people having conversations in different corners, a small band playing some soft highlife music, and, of course, a table covered with platters of the most delicious Nigerian delicacies. As expected, there was a very long queue of people waiting to see the wise man, and Adefemi had to wait for about two hours before it got to his turn.
Adefemi met the wise man, who listened attentively to why he had come; to learn about the Secret of Happiness. Sadly, the wise man told him that he did not have time just then to explain the Secret. Instead, the wise man suggested that Adefemi look around the mansion and return in two hours.
“Meanwhile, I want to ask you to do something,” said the wise man, handing Adefemi a teaspoon that held two drops of oil: “As you wander around, carry this spoon with you without allowing the oil to spill.”
Sounds ridiculous, right? I thought so too when Adefemi regaled me with this story, lol. But still stay with me, please 😊.
Anyways, Adefemi, my dear friend, began touring the mansion, climbing and descending the many stairs, whilst keeping his eyes fixed on the spoon. I mean, if it were you, wouldn’t you also guard the spoon and the oil on it jealously as if your life depended on it? Hehe.
Two hours came and went, and Adefemi returned to the room where the wise man was.
“Well,” asked the wise man, “did you see the Persian tapestries that are hanging in my dining hall? Did you notice the beautiful Benin bronze pieces in my living room? Did you see the intricately crafted oriental rug in my library? Did you see the garden that took the master gardener ten years to create?”
Embarrassingly, Adefemi could not bring himself to answer. He had been so focused on not spilling the oil on the spoon the wise man had given him that he had failed to observe anything about the mansion. He confessed same to the wise man.
“Then go back and observe the marvels of my world,” said the wise man. “You cannot trust a man if you do not know his house.”
Adefemi heaved a sigh of relief. He had been given a second chance. So, what did he do next? He picked up the spoon and returned to his exploration of the mansion. As you can imagine, this time, Adefemi over-observed all the works of art on the ceilings and the walls. Once bitten, three times shy after all 😊. He saw the gardens, the waterside around him, the beauty of the flowers, and the taste with which everything had been selected. Upon returning to the wise man, he was gushing over the details of everything he had seen.
“But where are the drops of oil I entrusted to you?”, asked the wise man.
“Alas! Looking down at the spoon he held, Adefemi saw that the oil was gone.” Wahala!
“Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you,” said the then wisest of wise men in Nigeria:
“The Secret of Happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.” *Mic drop!*
Now, Dear Reader, that profound advice is the focus of my writing to you this month, and I would like to touch on only 2 Points (Still stay with me, please 😊):
When you are too focused on the oil (yourself), you miss the mansion (the world).
How often do you go through life focused solely on yourself, your purpose, mission, career, assignment, schoolwork, etc. that you miss the natural and man-made marvels of the world?
Do you really notice the beauty of the world around you? Are you really living or just existing?
Do not be like my dear friend, Adefemi, who in his first attempt was so focused on his work of guarding his oil jealously that he failed to experience the mansion. Do not be so focused on your mission, on your 2021 goals, that you forget to live. That you forget to experience the world. That you forget to have moments with your family, friends, and even yourself, and cherish them. Do not be so focused on your work, on being busy, that you come to the end of your life only to realize that you had not actually lived.
Because the secret of happiness is not just about you focusing on what you do, but also about experiencing the beauties and marvels of the world.
I used to be very guilty of this too by the way, but in the last two years, I have deliberately taken steps to do better. That is why I know you can too 😊.
There is so much to be gained from getting outside of your bubble, setting and resetting perspective, and experiencing the vast variety of cultures in the world.
So, as we start May, I urge you to take time to “smell the roses” and enjoy all the wonderful things that life has to offer — from spending time with your children, family, and friends, to going on morning walks, watching the sun rise, travelling, meeting new people, experiencing new cultures, etc.
Be present. Live in the moment. Get to experience the world.
When you are too focused on the mansion (the world), you miss the oil (yourself).
At the same time, you must not forget the other piece of the puzzle: the drops of oil on your spoon.
You have been entrusted with certain gifts, talents, and natural abilities. Everyone, for the singular reason of being here on earth, has been given their own teaspoon with oil, and this represents your mission, your life’s work, your purpose. The truth is that everyone has a central role to play in the history of the world, whether they realize/acknowledge it or not.
Now, while two drops of oil may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of the world, they are your two drops of oil. The more important question is, what are you doing with your two drops of oil today?
Do not be like Adefemi who in his second attempt was so focused on the beauties and marvels of the world that he forgot the drops of oil on his spoon. Do not be so focused on the pleasures of the world that you forget to live a purposeful life, to be mission-driven, and to actually do your work. Likewise, do not be too mindful of public opinion that you forsake your mission. And do not be so focused on just surviving or earning a living that you forget your why.
Indeed, there is much to be gained by immersing yourself in the awe-inspiring natural world, and you should immerse yourself. But do not forget that you have personally been entrusted with something as well. This is your life responsibility, your purpose, your reason for being.
As much as you get from the world, remember that you also have something to give the world.
A shepherd may like to travel, but he should never forget about his sheep.
When you become focused on only the external, you lose yourself.
So, Dear Reader, as we go into May, I would like you to Live Life Fully.
Living life fully also means being responsible. You will not find Happiness by focusing solely on your mission, career, schoolwork etc. Neither will you find Happiness indulging in all the vacations, cuisines, and relationships alone.
Rather, the Secret is that life is a balancing act between the external and internal worlds. Find an equilibrium where you do both. Be accountable to those who gave you the opportunities you have and be serious about what you can contribute to the world. At the same time, be enamored by what and who you have around you: your people, your world, and your humanity.
Cherish every moment. Take nothing for granted.
That is the Secret of Happiness.
So, now that you know the Secret of Happiness or are reminded, what will you be doing differently? 😊
Love and Light,
O’Seye
P.S. Of course, as you may have probably figured out already, there is no Adefemi 😊. Adefemi’s story above is adapted from the book, The Alchemist, written by Paulo Coelho; one of the most profound books I have ever read. You can check the book out here.
Very engaging article . Loved it