Who Are You Becoming?
It is our CHOICES that show what we will truly BECOME, far more than our ABILITIES.
Every first day of the month, I send you a letter focused on helping you become the best you. You can subscribe here so you do not miss any letters:
Everyone has abilities and talents. But not everyone gets to live their dreams. If it were based on just one’s abilities and talents, then everyone should be living their dreams. Sadly, that is not the case. So, what makes the difference?
I believe it all comes down to CHOICES.
You may say that living one’s dreams depends on what abilities one’s given or the privileges one’s borne with. And you probably have a point there. But, if that truly were the determining factor, would we really have anyone living their dreams, since nobody has a perfect life?
Besides, what you start with, really, isn’t up to you. It is an exercise in futility to keep mulling over the cards you have been dealt, as you do not have control over that. (I wrote more about this in last month’s letter, “Going into H2 2021: The World's Greatest Lie”.)
In 2019, I interviewed Ashanti Branch for Origins Africa Podcast, and he succinctly put it best (Listen here: Spotify, YouTube):
The sad reality of life is that life doesn’t give you what you want. Life gives you what you get. It is up to you to make the most out of it. In the end, you have the responsibility to create the life you want, despite background and life experiences. You can be sad about those experiences, but you’ve got to make the most of it, regardless. It’s up to you.
So yes, talents and abilities are given and not within your control. But getting to live your dreams isn’t just about your abilities, it is about PLAYING the HAND you have been dealt WELL. And that is determined by your CHOICES.
You may also say that one getting to live their dreams is based on luck. And, again, you are probably right. But how does one attract luck? Many dream achievers have defined luck as opportunity meeting preparation. That means that there is first a preparation, which is based on a choice to practice and be ready for the opportunity when it comes knocking. Some have buttressed further that hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard; that the more hardworking one is, the luckier and more successful one gets in living their dreams. Like preparation, being hardworking is a choice, since one may choose to word hard on the abilities one’s got or be slothful.
So, once again, we are back to the premise that it all comes down to CHOICES.
Yes, you've got singing abilities, great. You've got talent in writing, fantastic. You've got abilities in public speaking or critical thinking or strategy or content creation or coding or fashion designing or leadership or product development, etc., splufic, in Naija speak. But so what? And then?
What choices are you making today as regards those abilities? From as simple as you choosing to cultivate those talents and abilities or leave them fallow. Are you being complacent or are you consistently honing those abilities towards establishing expertise? Are you coasting on your abilities and liking the perfect future picture you have in your head or are you sweating them out? Are you basking in the delusive glory of how talented you are or are you consistently working hard on those talents? What choices are you making today?
For it is our CHOICES that show what we will truly BECOME, far more than our ABILITIES.
It starts with the little thing of choosing to stay back and work on that writing instead of going on that outing or watching that show on Netflix. Little thing of going to the gym everyday. Little thing of whom you are friends with. Little thing of solving a business case everyday, of rehearsing everyday, of practicing your craft for 1 hour every day, etc.
Choice of cultivating that talent or doing nothing about it, perhaps even despising it. Choice of showing off your work and publishing that article or keeping it in your drafts. Choice of saying yes to an opportunity or declining because of self-doubts. Choice of hiding out of fear or starting no matter how small and despite the fear. Choice of sleeping versus practicing. Choice of meeting deadlines versus missing deadlines. Choice of exceeding expectations versus disappointing clients. Choice of deciding for yourself what you want versus letting others decide for you. Choice of indifference versus saying yes or even saying no. Choice of anything goes versus deliberateness. By the way, refusing to make a choice, not saying yes or no, is a choice whether you realize or admit it or not.
Sometimes, it’s the littlest and seemingly insignificant things that eventually rob us of living our dreams.
Little drops of water make the mighty ocean of living our dreams or otherwise.
It really is not going to be easy. If it were, everyone would get to live their dreams. But that’s the price required to live our dreams. It’s not just about talents. It’s not just about abilities. Rather, and more importantly, it’s about the choices, including the seemingly little and insignificant ones, we make daily, hourly, per minute.
Borrowing words from William Jennings Bryan (Orator, Attorney, and Political leader):
Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
So, Dear Reader, what choices are you making today, and what do they show us about who you are becoming? You sef think am o 😊.
Love and Light,
O’Seye
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