Going into H2 2021: The World's Greatest Lie
If you want to live your dreams, you have to take 100% responsibility for all the outcomes you experience in your life.
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As we start the second half of 2021, you are probably thinking about the goals you had for the year. Perhaps you are feeling excited for having met a number of them and looking forward to the second half of the year, or you are feeling sad that you slacked on a couple and keenly want to do better in H2, or you are generally indifferent about goals and plans and are just taking each day as it comes – Que sera, sera. Regardless of the position that you are in, any of which is fine because it is more about your self-awareness, I would like to talk to you about the World’s Greatest Lie.
Now, in my head, for a lie to be the world’s greatest, it probably means that the lie is such that almost every human being on earth believes that lie to be true. What do you think? What lie could possibly be the world’s greatest?
World’s Greatest Lie:
“That at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what is happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.”1
The Truth:
“If you want to live your dreams, you have to take 100% responsibility for all the outcomes you experience in your life. This includes the level of your achievements, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health and physical fitness, your income, your debts, your feelings – everything.”2
Taking 100% responsibility for your life also means you have to give up all your excuses. All your victim stories, all the reasons why you can’t and why you haven’t up until now, and all your blaming of outside circumstances. You have to give them all up forever.
Let us imagine you were returning home from work one night. You got to your street, and whilst walking to your house, you came upon a man down on his knees looking for something under the streetlamp (If you are in Nigeria, humour me, and just imagine that there is a streetlamp 😊). So, upon meeting him on his knees, and being the gentleman or lady that you are, you inquired as to what he was looking for. He responded that he was looking for his lost key. Still being your gentleman or lady self, you offered to help and got your tired self from work down on your knees, helping him search for his key. After an hour of fruitless searching, you then asked him, “We have looked everywhere for it and haven’t found it. Are you sure that you lost the key here?” Then the man replied, “No, I lost it in my house, but there is more light out here under the streetlamp.”
At that point, what would you do? I am sure you would want to knock some sense into him for the sheer foolishness and for wasting your time, right?
Interestingly, as ridiculous as it may sound, that is exactly how we often are with our lives. We never want to look at where the real problem is – ourselves.
There is a very simple but important formula that made this idea of 100% responsibility even clearer to me:
E + R = O
Event + Response = Outcome
The basic idea is that every outcome you experience in life (whether it is success or failure, wealth or poverty, health or illness, intimacy or estrangement, joy or frustration) is the result of how you have responded to an earlier event(s) in your life.
Some have even gone further to say that life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond to it. What does that mean?
It means that if you do not like the outcomes you are currently getting in your life, there are 2 basic choices you have:
You can blame the Event (E) for your lack of results (O).
In other words, you can blame your parents, your bosses, your friends, the media, your co-workers, your direct reports, your clients, your spouse, the weather, the economy, the political climate, the system or lack of systems, your astrological chart, your lack of money, your lack of education, racism, gender bias, your sexuality, your country – the current administration in Nigeria, your state, your local government, your hometown... – anything or anyone you can pin the blame on. Many of us have been conditioned to blame something outside of ourselves for the parts of our lives we do not like.
In truth, all these factors exist and are valid – I am, in no way, downplaying the experiences you may have had. The crux is that if these factors were the deciding factor, nobody would ever succeed. For every reason why it is not possible that you have in your head, there are hundreds of people who have faced the same events and succeeded. Lots of people overcome these “limiting” factors, so it cannot be the limiting factors that limit you. It is not the external conditions and circumstances that stop you – It is you!
You can simply change your Responses (R) to the Events (E) – the way things are – until you get the Outcomes (O) you want.
If you do not like your outcomes, change your responses. Keep changing your responses until you get the desired outcomes you want. Never settle. Your life bends towards what you accept.
In changing your responses, you can change your thinking, change the images you visualize, and you can change your behaviour – the things you do. That is all you really have control over anyway.
Sadly, most of us are so run by our habits that we never change our behaviour. Everything you think, say, and do needs to become intentional and aligned with your purpose, your values, and your goals. So, you have to regain control of your thoughts, your images and dreams, and your behaviour, regardless of what is happening around you.
Thus, as you go into the second half of the year, it is time to stop looking outside for answers to why you have not created the life and results you want, for it is you who creates the quality of the life you lead, and the results you produce. You, no one else!
Here are 2 examples to buttress on this:
There was an earthquake in a particular city. Two days later, CNN interviewed people commuting to work. The earthquake had damaged one of the major roads leading into the city. Traffic was at a standstill, and what was normally a 1-hour drive had become a 2- or 3-hour drive. The CNN reporter knocked on the window of one of the cars stuck in traffic and asked the driver how he was doing. He responded angrily, “I hate this city. First, there were fires, then the pandemic, then floods, and now an earthquake! No matter what time I leave in the morning, I am going to be late for work. I can’t believe it!”
Then the reporter knocked on the window of the car behind him and asked the second driver the same question. The driver was all smiles. He replied, “It’s no problem, I left my house at 5.00 AM. I do not think under the circumstances, my boss can ask for more than that. I have lots of music CDs and my Spanish language tapes are with me. I have got my cell phone. I have coffee in my thermos, and lunch. I even brought a book to read. So, I’m fine!”
If the earthquake or the traffic was really the deciding factor, then everyone should have been angry. But everyone was not. It was their individual response to the traffic that gave them their particular outcome. It was thinking negative thoughts or thinking positive thoughts, leaving the house prepared or leaving unprepared that made the difference. It was all a matter of attitude and behaviour that created their completely different experiences.
Food for Thought: What particular response do you need to change in your life today to get a different outcome?
Here is the story of another who heard that there was going to be a recession and decided within himself not to participate. A young man owned a Lexus dealership. However, war broke out and people stopped coming in to buy Lexus vehicles. He understood that if he did not change his Response (R) to the Event (E) of nobody coming into the showroom, he was going to slowly go out of business. His normal response would have been to continue placing ads in the newspaper and on the radio, then wait for people to come into the dealership. But that was not working. The Outcome (O) he was getting was a steady decrease in sales. So, he tried a number of things. The one that worked was driving a fleet of new cars to a club where the rich people were, and inviting them to take a spin in a new Lexus.
Think about this: Have you ever test-driven a new car and then got back into your old car? Remember that feeling of dissatisfaction you would feel as you compare your old car to the new car you had test-driven? Your old car was fine up until then. But suddenly, you knew there was something better and you wanted it. The same thing happened with these folks. After test-driving the new car, a high percentage of them bought or leased a new Lexus. The dealership had changed their Response (R) to an unexpected Event (E) the war and nobody coming to the showroom, until they got the Outcome (O) they wanted – increased sales. They actually ended up selling more cars per week than before the war broke out.
So, what changes are you going to make today?
Again, you only have control over 3 things in your life: the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take (your behaviour). How you use these 3 things determines the outcomes you experience.
If you do not like what you are producing or the outcomes you are experiencing in any or all areas of your life, you have to change your responses. Change your negative thoughts to positive ones. Change what you daydream about. Change your habits. Change what you read. Change your friends. Change how you talk. Give up excuses. Give up blaming. Give up complaining.
I wish you the courage to take 100% responsibility for your life 😊
Love and Light,
O’Seye
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
The Success Principles(TM): How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield